Hey..

Well today I had a conversation with aly and it really made me think. I use to think people you hang out with made you who you are but I guess its not true. Like so many people have changed.. I feel like I don’t know most of the people I use to consider to be my best friends. I know ive drifted myself away from some but I don’t know why ive done it. I guess its because I don’t know what to do anymore. I realize that their aren’t many days left until we all go our own ways. Like I feel like some days people just talk to me, just to talk to me and others just ignore me. I also thought this week a lot. People in my class judge me because of what they think, they don’t even know me.. yet they think they know me enough to judge me and to say shit about me. It pisses me off so much. This summer is gunna b so interesting.. I wanna see how many people actually call me and hang out with me.. who really cares.. and others that just forget… I feel like if I call people, im just annoying them or butting into what they were doing. So I don’t really try anymore. Im trying to move on but its hard to sit here n be okay.. ive been pushin myself so bad to do so good. I do good and miss the one thing I wanted so bad. But go figure. I feel left behind so many times. I guess friends are just friends at school, but once school ends, nothing else will be.. I have my moods where im happy one second, upset the next and so on.. most people don’t understand.. you don’t know my viewpoint.. you’ve never done what ive done so you don’t know how it feels. Then I have to make promises that ive wanted to break how many times but don’t because I know ill lose so many people. So I continue to please everyone else xcept me.. and if I didn’t have Jeremy who knows where id be.. hes the main person that’s been there for me these past 2 or 3 months.. he knows everything. I feel like he knows more about me than most people have known about me for years now..  I just feel so different.. I know my weakness is that I care to much..